Vote No On Mellencamp

Originally submitted by: barcode 2x

Barack Obama, still anxious to connect with the working class, this week enlisted the help of Indiana's Elvis. John Mellencamp, sounding as though he has been smoking and drinking scotch for 25 years, played a wheezy, craggy concert in support of the Illinois Senator Tuesday night. The Cougar is a longtime outspoken Democrat, and a John Edwards supporter from the get-go. So if Obama cannot receive the endorsement from Edwards, perhaps, in the eyes of the working class, John Mellencamp is the next best thing. He was, so he claims, born in a small town. But in an unexpected move, John Mellencamp has been scheduled to play for a rally in support of Hilary Clinton. The sting of betrayal! To quote a phrase, it hurts so good! The walls, as the poet says, come crumbling down. How can a celebrity endorser play for two rival candidates? That would be like Chuck Norris jumping the Huckabee ship and putting his muscle and skill behind Mitt Romney. Thank God it never came to that. Or rather, Thank Chuck. In related news, Chuck Norris has changed his middle name to "Fucking". Meanwhile, Right-wing hotshot John McCain has the full support of Detroit wildman Ted Nugent. The Nuge. The battle for Mellencamp rages on. What is the significance of this? He is playing both sides against one another! Does he believe they should share a ticket? Does he want the race for the nomination to blow up like paper in fire? It is clear to me which side Mellencamp is on. His own. Mellencamp is on Mellencamp's side. And visa versa. Oh, yeah. Life goes on. The public should not stand for this double-dealing. Whose John Cougar Mellencamp are you, anyway? Is this all that we've learned about living? Check it out. This is war. This is gonna go off like a Cherry Bomb. Don't stand for it, America. Vote No On Mellencamp. This message brought to you by Swiftboat Veterans Against Mellencamp. Or SVAM, for short.